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When Philippe and I opened our first Prana Power Yoga Center in 2002 we taught every single class.
In fact, for the first year, we taught every class, checked in students, bought the toilet paper for the bathroom, mopped the floors—you name it, if it needed to be done, we did it.

“Wow, this must be really hard on you guys,” people would say to us, about just the two of us opening a Yoga Center.

Again and again, we’d answer, “No, it’s not hard.  It’s what we love.  It’s what we live.  And it’s a joy to bring it to others.”

We were very blessed that Prana did really well from day one, and as more students came to us, we added more classes.
Within a year, as our class schedule became more abundant, teaching all of the classes ourselves became more challenging.
Many teachers came to us to teach at Prana, but no one felt right.  No one had the Prana energy.

So we decided to handpick a few students who had the high vibration we were looking for, and train them (for free) to teach at Prana.
We began training them every Tuesday night for 3-4 hours.
In about 6 months, one of our “trainees” was ready to teach her own class at Prana.  And with time and practice, the others followed suit, and we eventually had a fabulous staff of Prana teachers to help us spread the light.

Around this time, I took off for the Berkshires to train for a week with a well-known yoga instructor.  Philippe and I are very into growth and transformation and learning, and something told me to apply to this training.

In retrospect, I know that it was my Spirit who “told me” to apply to the training, but not for the reasons my mental body deduced.  Not because I’d learn more about teaching yoga, but because I’d learn about how NOT to train students to teach yoga, and from that knowledge, create the best Prana Teacher Training Program ever.

Remember, Super-people, it is from contrast in our lives (what we DON’T want) that we learn what we DO want to create.

I showed up at 7am the first morning of the training to a cold room filled with eager yogis, and the instructor immediately asked us to go into a backbend—before we were warm.

I had a very serious back injury at a young age (which yoga healed for the most part, as long as I practice daily and I warm up my body before I go into intense poses like back bends), and I know my limits.

So I “just said no” to a backbend without warming up.

The instructor was not pleased.

“It’s good to injure your body,” he said.  “It shows you where you have weak points.”

(Please note that I am not exaggerating.  He actually said these exact words.)

“Thanks, but no thanks,” I thought.  “I’ll take a pass on injuring my body on purpose.  And, from now on, I’m going to wake up at 5am and practice before I get here.”

And so I did, from the next morning on.  I cranked the heat in my hotel room as high as it would go and practicing a full Prana Power Yoga flow at 5am, before I stepped foot into that teacher training for the day.
The instructor criticized me that second morning, too.

This time, for practicing before the training.

“I can tell that you’ve practiced already this morning,” he said.  “I told you that it’s a good idea to see where your body is weak.”

I knew it not the best idea to argue with this guy—he was too full of ego and himself and there’d be no “winning” this argument—but I couldn’t help myself.  My Spirit is way too strong.   ;)

“I KNOW where my body is weak,” I said confidently.  “That became quite clear when I severely injured it at a young age playing tennis.  I practice yoga to feel the best ever and to heal, not to injure myself.  And I’m not going to be bullied out of practicing in the morning before I come here.  That’s my choice.”
The instructor was not pleased.  He went on to taunt and make fun of my “logic” in front of the other students.
I felt angry and humiliated and wanted to walk out, but stood my ground.  I paid for a week of training with this guy, and I was going to stick around and learn something.
Learn I did.

I learned that in our Prana Power Yoga Teacher Training that Philippe and I would create and offer to those magnetized to us, we would treat the trainees with love and respect, unlike what this “famous” yogi did.

I learned that in a yoga teacher training program, it’s important to actually teach your trainees to teach yoga and to do so it’s essential to create time and space for them to practice teaching yoga, real-time!

Yes, during 7 days of training with this teacher, only 2 out of 50 students actually taught yoga.
I later learned that those 2 students were his (secret) girlfriend and her business partner.

I learned that it’s important to include many aspects of the yoga tradition in a training program and various modalities—not just get up on a soap box and talk the whole time about yourself and how you teach yoga.

And so we incorporated many modalities in our Training Program and brought in other people besides Philippe and me to teach some of the different modalities, so that our trainees could learn from many people with many different styles.

I learned that yoga and teaching yoga should be made accessible to people, not the opposite.

I learned that just because you’re “famous” doesn’t mean you are good at what you do, or are a nice person with integrity.
Not that there’s anything wrong with being famous, Super-people.
Bring on the abundance!
But serve it up without the ego and criticism and elitism.
The world has enough of that, and that’s not yoga.

Last winter my husband and I were in the process of opening The Prana Café, our raw vegan café in Newton Corner—just three doors down from Prana Power Yoga Newton.  “Excited” didn’t even begin to describe our energy around opening The Prana Café.  Two kids in a, errr, (raw) candy store.

So excited were we to visualize and design the space, design and build the tables and chairs, create the murals both outside and in, create the menu, work with our four chefs to make the menu even better, hire all the front of the house Prana Café family, and do all of the other bazillion things that need to get taken care of before we opened our doors to the first Raw Vegan Café in Newton Corner (it’s about time).

So what were we spending most of our time on?

Parking spots.

“What?” you ask.  “Parking spots?  Whatever do you mean?”

What I mean is City Hall—and the dealings with the aforementioned that could fill a forty-hour workweek, if you let it.

When you own a Café, the city “allows” you a certain number of tables in your space, depending upon how many parking spots are available near your Café.  Our space had a certain number of tables “grandfathered in”—to the sum of 18.

“Grand-who?” you ask.

Grandfathered simply means that many years ago there were restaurants in our space, and since these restaurants were there, we are “allowed” a certain number of tables.
But 18 tables wasn’t gonna cut it, Sister.  Most Prana Power Yoga Newton classes I teach have an average of 35 people in them, and if half of those yogis come on down to the Prana Café after class to grab a bite, along with the other health and delicious and hearty-but-not-heavy-Prana-Café-food seeking people, we’d be needing more tables-n-chairs.

So the process we went through—girl, you have no idea.

Unless, of course, you’ve done it before.
Alissa Cohen, raw food chef, raw food restaurant owner, and author extraordinaire, treated us to dinner at her restaurant—Grezzo–and told us “all she knew” about opening her restaurant.

When Philippe brought up the parking space/table issues, she moaned, rolled her eyes, and whispered “Let me call Dennis, he dealt with all that stuff.  I totally remember what a pain it was.”
So we talked to Dennis and we learned that we did indeed need to walk this path.

The only way out was, in fact, through.

But here was the enigma.  Some of the Aldermen loved the idea of the Café, but were concerned because “Newton Corner already has parking issues.”

Wait a minute, it was a recession, and they were concerned about parking?  These well-educated holders of public office were ignoring the fact that The Prana Café would bring lots of good energy, business, and droves of happy people to the area.

Talk about seeing the forest for the trees.

What about Harvard Square? Newbury Street? Faneuil Hall?

All of the places that you “HAVE to take visitors” when they’re in town, are notorious for their “parking issues.”
What do we want, Aldermen?  Newton Corner businesses growing and thriving or plenty of parking because everyone is stayin’ home and the Corner is quiet?

Does this sound familiar, Super-people?

It’s the same lesson we keep learning again and again, on and off of our mats,

It all boils down to:  Abundance… or fear and the illusion of control.

What will you choose, Super-mom?

*The Prana Café, owned and operated by Taylor and Philippe Wells of Prana Power Yoga Cambridge, Newton, NYC, and Winchester, is located at 292 Centre Street in Newton Corner and is open for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day except Tuesday.   There is plenty of parking and plenty of tables for your convenience and enjoyment.   J   The Prana Café serves healthy, delectable, “high vibration” food–raw vegan delicacies and some cooked food treats as well.  It’s reasonably priced and you can eat in or take out.  The Café also offers a full juice and smoothie bar as well as the best raw desserts you’ll ever experience, which you can enjoy with hot tea or a steaming hot cup of Biscuit™ brand coffee.  It doesn’t matter if you know what raw vegan food is—this food tastes so good that you won’t even know that it’s raw vegan.  But you’ll FEEL the difference after.  The Prana Café:  “hearty but not heavy.”

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Tuning in to Kids’ Anger

By Super-Mom, Venus Taylor

When my daughter turned 3, she changed from a sweet, agreeable little angel, into a moody, angry, petulant monster.

OK, it wasn’t that bad, but she did display serious bouts of anger that I did not know how to handle – crying fits over getting dressed up for family pictures, violent screams of “NO!” when asked to put away her toys (which had never been a problem before).

It would have been easy to just see these outbursts as challenges to my authority – opportunities to set her straight about who’s boss.

That’s what my mother would have done.  As much as my mother truly loved me, she was also deeply committed to not raising a spoiled, misbehaving child.  So, if I “acted up,” she “whooped” me.

Although they were well-intended, my mother’s “whoopings” kept me from learning how to express my feelings.  Before I could talk, the only ways I could express that I was upset about something was through crying or tantrums.  That behavior, along with my belief that I had a right to my upset feelings, were beaten out of me.

Even as an adult, I had no mature, productive way of expressing anger, sadness, or disagreement.  I stuffed my feelings down deep, and pasted on a smile just to keep the peace.  Then, periodically, I’d erupt in a violent rage, annihilating whatever relationship seemed to be stifling me.

Underneath my daughter’s outbursts, I sensed a genuine, seething rage.  And for some reason, it seemed directed at me.

Instead of punishing her for her behavior, or enforcing my power over her, I wanted, desperately, to help her find constructive ways to express her feelings.  But how?  I still didn’t know how to handle my own anger, how could I possibly teach her how to handle hers?

Besides, she was only 3.  And, yes, she was a genius (in my humble opinion), but she didn’t seem to know how to tell me what she was feeling.

Until she could develop the language to express her feelings, I at least wanted her to know that I respected her right to have them.  I wanted her to hold on to her anger.  To feel it.  To own it.

I trusted that, as soon as she could, she would be able to use her words to tell me what was going on inside of her.  Until then, I promised myself I would not do anything to shut her anger down or disconnect her from her feelings.

One day, it hit me.  I knew exactly how to give her an outlet for her anger, until she could express it verbally.

I connected a microphone to the boom box in the living room.  I stood her on the coffee table, and played the Alanis Morissette song, “You Oughta Know.”  (It was 1988, and that song was still topping the charts.)  She didn’t know the words (thank goodness, they’re kinda vulgar).  But I had noticed that, riding in the car, she would nail the emotions of the Alanis CD as she sang her own non-sense lyrics.

She sang her angry little heart out, yes she did.  I handed her that microphone anytime she wanted it, and played Alanis, and let her rage into the microphone.

After about 6 months of this, my daughter admitted to me, “Mommy, I don’t like how you always cuddle with Buddy first.”

We practiced the family bed.  When she was the only child, I nursed her to sleep every night.  (God bless my patient husband.)

When her brother was born, she was 2 ½.  Suddenly, I was nursing him to sleep while she would “cuddle my back.”  Then, I would turn around and cuddle with her after her brother fell asleep.

By the time she could tell me this, she was 3 ½.  Her little brother was 1 year old.

I was moved by her sweet sincerity.  Of course, I thought.  She became angry with me soon after he was born.  And why wouldn’t she?  I took the nursing and the cuddling away from her and gave it to him.

That night, we began “Taking Turns.”  Each night (until she turned 7, and quit the family bed), we would alternate who got first cuddle.  From then on, her outbursts ceased.  No kidding.

Today, she is 15.  And she is the sweetest, most agreeable, angelic teenager you could ever know.  And when she’s upset about something, she trusts that I will listen with an open heart…even as she struggles to find the words.

I feel like I have given her the gift ownership over her feelings.  They are hers.  She has a right to them – whether they inconvenience me or not.  And she will have healthier adult relationships because she knows how to express them constructively.

Read more stories and get more parenting tips in Becoming the Mom I Wish I’d Had: How to Heal Yourself and Your Family Through HEART-Based Parenting.

Also, check out the Family Healing Institute, for workshops and relationship coaching for families in pain.