I never imagined just how amazing it is actually being a mom, how awesome it is to create a life, and love that life with all that is me, on a completely new level that is different than I have experienced as a wife, daughter, sister, or friend.
With Sebastian three weeks old now he has already taught me to listen to my instincts and trust myself. At times over the past three weeks I have been ‘Super-New-Mom’ and have bombarded myself with questions about whether or not what my husband and I are doing is right. As I assume any new mom can relate, these questions then get relayed to friends, family, neighbors, and of course the pediatrician. As I tried to make sense out of everyone’s suggestions I’m reminded about advice my doctor gave me when I asked for a book recommendation for once the baby came, he wisely pointed out that there are lots of ways to raise a child, but that there is no one right way.
I have come to realize that my questions stem from fear. I was a bit frantic about nursing Sebastian and knowing he was getting bigger and stronger. Just before each of the weekly weigh-ins at the pediatrician, the fear that Sebastian wasn’t gaining weight and that I wasn’t able to give him enough milk not only crept in, but ate away at me. Even after our first appointment when we learned that Sebastian had gained a bit more than the expected ounce per day, I was still fearful and worried before the next visit. At our second weekly weigh-in Sebastian continued to gain weight and with that I realized that I had to relax and not let my fear turn into real anxiety.
Acknowledging that I have a choice of how I will react to my fear is very empowering. Instead of getting anxious and nervous (i.e., only to think of worst-case scenarios), I can live confidently in the moment and recognize that both he and I are doing everything we need to do. This alone helps me to feel a little more ‘Super-Mom’ than ‘Super-New-Mom’. I have a strong network of friends and family who I can ask for help, and who always will lend an ear, but most important I have my intuition and the ability to trust in my body.
Sebastian has been a gift to our family and myself in a number of ways. As I have taken the time to reflect on the past few weeks with Sebastian, I am grateful for the lessons and opportunities that having him has brought into my life. Enduring my ‘Super-New-Mom’ days is part of the process that reaffirmed the need for me to tap into my intuition and trust my body as well as the instincts between my son and I. Following my natural intuition and instincts takes away everyday fears and anxieties and allows me to enjoy every little moment, even the 3:00am ones! Now I look forward to Sebastian’s next weigh-in, because, to me, there is no question he is gaining weight like he should be and already growing up before my eyes!