Since I lost my baby four days ago, I have been blessed with an astonishing amount of support from The Universe, our Community, friends, family, loved ones, and students.  I have energetically felt every ounce of this support—to the last drop—and it has sustained me during a very painful time.  I have a tremendous amount of gratitude for this support.  A tremendous, tremendous amount.

Here is a fraction of the loving, heart-felt, and kind words, sentiments, and wisdom sent to me since I lost the baby.  It is my hope that these words, which have nourished and sustained me in this time of sorrow and darkness, will help to sustain and nourish those of you out there going through loss right now, or those who have endured loss in the past. 

Namaste,

Taylor

** “I am so sorry to hear of your loss.  I feel for you.  Holding you and your family in light.  Know that you will traverse this experience, having been touched by the blessing of that baby’s spirit, grown and healed through a difficult experience, and you will shine even more!  My father died when I was fourteen-‘before his time’ people said.  I always felt, in some way, that it was meant to be, that in some way, he was able to better serve me in this life in spirit form.  I have continued to feel his presence as a sort of guardian angel.  In a similar light, now you have a connection with that being in spirit form—he/she can be a guiding light—a bridge to new dimensions of possibility.  There is Divine perfection in all of this.  Time will heal and time will reveal.   LOVE is all there is!  Xoxoxoxxo” **

** “My heart and prayers are with you.  This too will pass.  Like a friend of mine told me, ‘some parts of life are like algebra—we don’t like it but we have to sit and learn about it and take the test and find out if we pass, which means we learned our lesson.  And then, in the blink of an eye, we’re done with it and ready to move on to a different subject.  If you ever need to talk about anything—life, death, separation, anger, dealing with loss, moving forward, etc. I am just a call or facebook message away.  Lots of cupcake love to you.” **

** “My Sweet Sister Love, Words won’t mean anything right now, I know.  Every single piece of my broken, broken heart is with you right now. When a life ends, the relationship doesn’t end. Dakota’s spirit is still here, but I won’t go into it too much more right now, as I truly believe you just need to be in your grief. I believe there is a period where the Faith Bird feels forsaken and just doesn’t sing. And the silence and grief it creates in our soul is terrifying and overwhelming and completely and utterly foreign.  I understand how you feel right now. It feels like the world should stop right along with you. How can things keep just going on as they did?  I’m going to stop now because I really do feel you need to be with your own thoughts and your own pain. Just know that it will soften, that pain. Not any time soon, but it will.  I love you.” **

** “Dear Sistahr,  Hang in there.  The only advice I can give you from the bottom of my heart after going through what you already know in the past four years is…experience every feeling until the last drop—sadness, anger, hope, etc.  Let them out no matter what, because for me it was the only way to move forward.  Otherwise, we will always carry a little bit of them through life and never feel ‘healed’ at all.  Miss you tons and I’m sending lots of cupcakes wishes to you (with lots of sparkles).” **

** “Taylor, I am so, so sorry.  All I can say is that my prayers and thoughts are with you and Philippe during this painful time.  I have had so many friends recently feel the same heart wrenching pain as you are feeling now and you are right, there are no words.  Even when you hear ‘the baby is not meant to be’ you still wonder why now and of course it was NOT your fault.  Sometimes nature and The Universe make choices for us whether we want them or not.  Take comfort in the love that is all around you, your supportive family, friends, and community, and let them help you to carry this pain.  I can tell you that it does get easier, and know that little beautiful soul, who was called for a new purpose, will be with you like an angel.  I know you know this, but you are blessed to have the beautiful children that you have, and so let their joy, love, and life fill the void you are feeling now.  Let me know if there is anything I can do.  Sending you lots of love!  xoxoxoxo” **

** “Light, love, and peace are emanating from my heart to you and yours. I am so sorry for your loss.  Words are certainly insufficient.  My friends went through the same loss at the beginning of this year.  Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you or your family.” **

** “Hi Taylor, I am thinking about you and sending you love.  I was thinking ‘How on earth could this be a positive experience, and the only thing that came to me is that one day you will use this experience to help others who are going through it.  I know that a lot of your work is working with Mothers and one day you will use this experience to help them.  In the meantime I hope you allow yourself the space to feel whatever, even if it’s ‘negative.” **

** “Oh Taylor, I’m so, so sorry.  How devastating.  Miscarriages actually run in my family and one of my favorite stories is my grandmother’s.  She had gone through 7 or 8 miscarriages and very much wanted children.  She was extremely spiritual and one night in her dream Saint Ann took her by the hand into a beautiful garden and led her over to a bed of white and red roses.  She told her to pick two red and two white—and low and behold, soon after she had 2 girls and 2 boys.  My mother was the oldest and first born and is named Ann.  She is someone we all pray and talk to now.  So yes, it is all as it should be and you are already SO blessed.  Makes your heart ache a bit more for other women that this has happened to I’m sure.  And as sad as this is for you and your family, it is ultimately giving you a deeper level of appreciation for WOMEN.  Definitely write it down!  My thoughts are with you and I am sending you love-always.  Thank you for telling me and if there is anyone in the world who can use this experience to help others, it is YOU.” **

** “Taylor my love, I was just thinking about you yesterday and how amazing you are to be the Super-mom you are and how you don’t miss a beat.  That even being sick as a dog with your pregnancy you continued to lighten everyone’s life and days.  I know this because even yesterday when I was going through anxiety about something I was thinking of writing you and asking you a very concerned question of mine that I was sure you would be able to comfort me.  I will put off the question as I know you are going through your own thoughts of wonder and a little confusion now.  Taylor, know that you did everything that you could to protect your baby and no one could have done it better than you.  Your heart was in it, your love, your support, and most of all, your spirit.  I truly believe that things happen for a reason.  You will get through this and your baby will always have a special place in your heart.  You will be in our thoughts and prayers.  Lots of love Taylor!” **

** “Hi Taylor, I am so sorry.  I hope these words are helpful.  Life and death are complex and beyond our ability to fully comprehend.  The story I like to think about is that there was a soul who wanted to experience how it would feel to spend time in your beautiful, light filled womb.  This soul had a journey and fulfilled it basking in your amazing body for a short time.  Why this soul did not make its way into our world, as a child is not for us to know.  The next time you meditate envision an angel surrounded by a golden light who has been following you.  This angel has been amazed by your inner strength, dedication to others, wisdom, and radiant light.  This angel just wanted to know what it would feel like to be inside of you for about 8 weeks.  How kind of you to provide this angel with this opportunity.  The angel is very thankful for the experience and wants you to know that you will never be alone.  This angel will continue to follow you basking in your light and thankful for your presence on Earth.  The disappointment won’t ever go away completely but with time will get easier to think about and discuss.  You are loved by so many people.  The next time you practice breathe in that love and feel the peace it brings.  May you see truth, speak truth, and feel truth.  Please let me know if you need anything.  In the meantime, I am sending a lot of love, peace, and light.” **

** “Taylor, My heart goes out to you and Philippe and the kids.  I am grieving tears for you and feeling so much compassion.  I love you deeply and will send comfort for your heart.  The wisdom that your midwife shared is so true and reminding me of a story to share.  I was in Arizona at a Navaho Sundance Ceremony and a woman who had lost a baby was sharing her story.  She said that she had been so devastated by the loss and was searching for an answer as to why it happened.  She decided to do a Vision Quest Ceremony with that prayer and intent.  On her blanket, she said, her daughter appeared that much older with the time that had passed.  The little girl explained that she had come in to clear old family energies form this mother and her family, so that she and her other children could be healthier, happier, and continue to live but on a higher level and higher vibration.  It was a beautiful gift for this mother and her other children.  It is hard to put into words her story, but the beauty and gratitude and peace that she was sitting with as she it was incredible.  You and Philippe hold such a high vibration for your family and all the people who you teach.  This baby may have come in to support you in this commitment and shift you to an even higher and clearer level.  I hope this makes sense.  I am here if you need to talk.  I love you.” **

** ”Taylor, I am so sorry to hear about your loss… In times like this it’s hard to find the right words … or words at all.  I just want you to know that you are an inspiration, you are a light and I am sad to hear that you are hurting.  I know you will heal in your own ways and in your own time – you are one of the strongest people I’ve ever met – but if there is anything I can do to lighten your load please feel free to let me know.  Sending so much light and love.” **

** ”Hi Love – I am sending the biggest warmest hug to you.  I’m sincerely sorry to hear about the loss of your baby.  You are such a strong beautiful person surrounded by so many people who love and adore you (like me) that I know you will pull through this tough time stronger than ever even if it doesn’t feel like that right now.  I will continue to reach out but please let me know if I can do anything to help.” **
 

** ”I am so very sad and sorry for what you are going through right now… my thoughts and prayers to the universe for love and understanding and healing are with you and Philippe and the kids.   Remember that faith means trusting even when it makes no sense at all.” ** 

** ”Sending you much love and light… please let me know if I can be helpful in any way at all.  Again, I don’t know how to say something that will express my devastation hearing this.  I can’t imagine how crushed you must be.  The one thing I have learned through my own baby experience, and find comfort in (and have been learning it over and over again throughout different circumstances in my daily life) is that The Universe is sovereign.  He is in control, and can be trusted.  Fully.  I try to remind myself (as difficult as it is) of that as often as I can when I am faced with extremely difficult situations.  I don’t understand why such awful things happen to such loving people, but I do know there are reasons – that we may never know, but are for our good.  The other thing I strongly believe is that your baby IS in the light, and has been spared the heartaches of this world.  This baby may have suffered severely here, and now is in the loving care of The Universe and being protected from the things that would have hurt him here.  And I believe you WILL be with him one day and enjoy all of his/her beautiful qualities as a complete family.  I sometimes also wonder if the babies that don’t make it here are watching over us and acting as our angels… I hope so because then I would have one strong little Wells baby looking out for us!  Know that I will be praying/sending light to you and your beautiful family.  And also please know that whatever you need, I’m here.” **

** ”Dear Taylor, I’m so sorry to learn about your loss. I know that, being the devoted mother that you are, this must be extremely devastating.  My thoughts and prayers are with you. I wish you all the courage in the world on your healing journey, and that you may discover untapped reserves of strength and wisdom during this process to find a silver lining on this dark cloud.  With love” **

** “I know its been tough, but its not the tragedies in life that make us what we are but how we choose to deal with them.”  **

**  “Sounds to me like you’re doing what needs to be done.  With crying comes healing.  Because it’s real.  You’re dealing with the gamut of emotions, and that’s what we are told to do.  It will come in waves.  There will be times where you’re fine and other times where it will come upon you like a tidal wave.  Allow it to come.  Let it pass and be present for each moment of it.  Because you’re strong enough to meet the challenge and heal.  You will meet this child.  Just not yet.  It’s hard to wait, but it’s healthy and free from anything hurtful.  What a gift you have in your family.  Allow them to be your comfort.  You are not a statistic.  You are a woman in pain.  One who has experienced a loss beyond measure.  Breath, cry, and accept the love we all have for you.  We will be your strength when you have none.” **

** “Taylor, when I got Philippe’s voicemail today I wanted to cry. My heart sunk.  Just thinking of it makes me sad and I am sure you are so heartbroken. You are the best mom and your kids are so lucky to have you (and my kids too).  You bring light to everyone and I guess this baby wasn’t ready to meet supermom. I have been thru this before and I know the pain and loss you go thru. It was just so exciting for you and your family to imagine baby Dakota in your lives and hopefully you will! This must have not been Dakota! You deserve lots of kids! You really are special in soooo many ways! Love you Taylor and I would help you in any way I can. Lots of Love,XOXOXOXO.” **

** “Oh honey…I’m so sorry…I can also say I know how you feel…I was SHOCKED to find out how many people have had miscarriages. People don’t talk much about it until it happens to you and then they come out of the woodwork. I also lost identical twins at 10 weeks and know how sad it is. I too knew when it “happened” and went straight to the Dr. and was so sad to see no heartbeat, after seeing two the last time (I’d had an early ultrasound cuz I was sooo tired.) I also remember that waiting to have the procedure was a very difficult few days. But, once I got the green light, I got pregnant right away again! Sending you all lots of love and light! Xoxoxoxo.” **

** “Taylor, I am very distraught to hear this news. I hope that the five of you are faring well now. Goj* and I are sending tons of LOVE and INNER PEACE to you and your family. This is very difficult news. As some solace I have known many moms with large families 3-12 children who have miscarried at least one child and went forward with many future healthy pregnancies, so I know that these things happen commonly and that all is well.  We’re sending all the LOVE in the WORLD!” **

** “Dear Taylor, I am sure that Dakota is on her/his way to heal you and your family, just like I healed my mom! (S)he needs to come when (s)he is ready, but (s)he will be here, whether it takes a few weeks or longer. Like you always say, “at the moment of commitment, the universe conspires to assist you.” I just know the universe is behind you! In the meantime, I’m sending you lots of love and prayers!  In admiration of your faith and strength,” **

** “Hey Taylor, I love you a whole bunch.  You’re in a beautiful flow with Spirit.  Life is quite something, eh?  I feel so much gratitude for this human experience with the denseness and the amazing beauty, and the sensory awesomeness of vision, taste, hearing, smell, touch.  I remember long ago while healing, I was feeling so much pain from the emotional body, but I felt so alive and grateful to be able to experience that feeling as well as the whole spectrum of emotion and experience.  What I’ve learned since then is that so many of my experiences have manifested just so I can have compassion and connection with others who have experienced similar things.  I love you.  I keep thinking of Philippe and how he is doing through all this.  Men often don’t have a forum to express or grieve.  Love to both of you.” **

** “Dakota will come sooner than later, and when she comes you will not feel as sick as you were before. Don’t look for an explanation or for something that you did. I know you don’t, but just in case   For everything, life and death, there is always a reason why things happen. I hope you continue to feel hopeful and in no time little Dakota will be with us, happy and healthy.” **

** “Hi Taylor – I’ve read your email a few times since receiving it yesterday, thinking that some brilliant words would come to me.  Words that could help you, to bring you comfort, hope, relief, anything.  But there is really nothing I can say except that I am so so sorry for what you are going through.  So many of your words in your emails and in your articles have struck such a strong chord with me.  I know what it feels like to experience a loss so profound that your entire life changes in an instant.  To become a completely different person – just like that.  I know that when I was in my deepest pain, there were no words that could pull me out.  I think the truth is that the pain is necessary.  You are exactly where you are supposed to be right now.  I am amazed at the balance you seem to have found even in this moment of despair.  From the outside, it seems like you are truly allowing yourself to feel the pain of this experience while remaining whole and present in your life and family.  It seems like you have found a way to “soldier-on” as you put it in your article, while still truly grieving the way that you absolutely need to.  Just another way that you are amazing.  I know how hard this is to do – and am only now starting to learn how to “soldier-on” without simply pushing the pain down, but allowing myself to feel it.  You have brought up so many emotions and questions for me – and I am grateful for that.  I don’t think you will ever stop wondering, wishing and hoping for what would have been.  But it is true that time heals, and reveals.  And now, 10 years after my great loss, the only thing I know for sure is that I am who I am today because of what I went through.  So even if your lesson never becomes crystal clear – you are growing and opening in immense ways through all of this.  I guess I just want you to know that I am thinking of you, praying for you, crying with you, all the time.  Your support system is vast and I am grateful to be a part of it.  I am truly here for ANYTHING that you need!  I mean it – laundry, shopping, babysitting, whatever!  I love you and am sending you so much light! Xoxo” **

** “Taylor, I’m so very sorry and my heart grieves with you.  I’ve had more than my share of miscarriages, so my heart is truly with yours.  When a child is so tiny, many things can happen, that, even if you had carried her/him longer, they could never be resolved.  So this little one, that we all loved so much, and were so excited to meet, though he/she wasn’t meant to be held in our arms, will always be held in our hearts.  Don’t hurry the pain, but don’t let it hold you, just walk this road and know that everything happens for a reason.  I haven’t read your post yet, (I will after I send this), but I know how much it is touching every mother who has felt the loss if a precious life within them. Perhaps the reason we experience pain is so that we can relate to others and feel more compassion for them, and give grace to those around us.  It also makes the joys we experience in life so much more precious.  It puts in focus how much we should cherish those we do have in our lives.” **

** “Taylor, so much love to you beautiful goddess of light whose womb a soul chose to hold the space for its karmic journey predestined to unfold appropriately over the time space of 8 weeks and 1 day    what an honor to be chosen for this type of journey.  I miscarried 1 time as well a few years ago and can appreciate the experience.  Loving you, Philippe, the children, and sending this soul you were blessed to host an abundance of light to journey onward.” **